I am going to be a missionary.
That sentence feels so strange to say. I never thought I’d become a missionary—I was convinced it wasn’t my path. But God reshaped my heart, slowly and unmistakably, until I couldn’t ignore His call. Now, I’m leaving behind my farm, my career, and everything familiar to follow Him into the unknown, one step of obedience at a time.
I became interested in serving in international missions and going on some trips around the time I went to Bible college, a decade ago. My heart had changed toward personally serving in missions, but the timing wasn’t right. I didn’t know that then; I applied to programs and took steps forward, but each time the answer came back “no” in one way or another. After that, life started to happen. I didn’t intentionally give up on missions, but many changes kept happening around me, and I got distracted. I was in school, I got an apartment, I got jobs, I moved across the country a couple of times, people came and went from my life, I took up new interests, I became deeply involved in my local churches and their ministries, and I invested in my personal life. Over time, I just stopped thinking about it and life went on. That isn’t to say that I didn’t have a good life – I did! Though I have experienced many trials over the last several years, I worked hard to develop my life into something that God would approve of. I was in service to Him in other ways, and I loved every bit of it.
I grew up on a small farm, and providing for myself and my community through homesteading became another passion of mine. I had the opportunity to begin that lifestyle and build a small business out of it. It took years to get to where I was. This time last year, I lived on a 2-acre farm property with sheep, chickens, quail, meat rabbits, a garden, farm cats, my Collie Kenai, and a large garden where I grew food for myself and my animals. I had a spacious 3-bedroom house, lived out in the country, had a great day job, built a successful business and lifestyle promoting health and sustainability, and taught others how to do it too. I had big dreams about what it would turn into someday, but…
I felt a tugging on my heart – a subtle, nagging feeling that would not go away, and that slowly grew into something bigger. I knew that everything I was doing was good. I knew that God would be honored by the way I was spending my time and my life. I knew that the decisions I was making were good ones. But… There was a “but.” Something in me kept saying,
“What you’re doing is good, but it’s not what you’re supposed to be doing.” And I felt the old draw to the mission field abroad.
I am a strong believer in free will. I don’t believe in any version of “fate” or God’s “will” that says there is only one right choice that we can make in any given situation, and if we miss it, we’re on the wrong path. I do believe that God gives us a guide in Scripture for how to make God-honoring decisions, and we can make good decisions or bad ones. Often, there is more than one good choice in front of us; God does give room for our desires when they reflect His desires for us, and it isn’t a matter of picking the “right” one, but of simply choosing well. But I also believe that God does give specific callings to specific people, and when He is leading, we know it, and we can then either choose to ignore him (similarly to Jonah), or we can follow. Sometimes He lets us say no, and other times, we will end up where He wants us, regardless.
In this case, for me, I believe that God was calling me, that I had a choice, and that the choice would be hard. I struggled over this for months. Finally, I took my struggle to my family, my pastor, and trusted friends. I asked them for their advice and to pray for me. It was one of those moments that, before I felt like it was all in my head, but as soon as I said it out loud to others, it became very real and much harder to ignore. It wasn’t long before I started actively seeking where that call might be leading, specifically, talking with mission organizations, researching different regions, looking at posted opportunities on mission sites, etc. I started applying to different ones, wondering if that would lead to a more specific direction, and my pastor advised that I look for opportunities that would give me hands-on exposure to different areas and types of service since I didn’t have anything specific in mind. I ended up applying to one of the programs that I had applied to almost 10 years earlier, going through the interviewing/vetting process, and before long, I was accepted. I had other conversations for other positive opportunities that would have been happy to have me, but this one seemed to be the best choice, to devote myself to service in the present, and also allow me to discern if I was meant to do more in the future and how. The World Race with Adventures In Missions offered me an opportunity to serve in a variety of different regions extensively across the world for 11 months.
Then came the time to commit. There was a lot to think about. What about my farm? My church? My family? My animals? My career? The +$22,000 I’d have to raise? The stuff I hadn’t thought about? If I wanted to do this, I had to formalize my commitment with the sending organization and put a portion of the fundraising into my mission account to show my sincerity. I talked with all my people, and I prayed hard, and I ultimately heard a still, small voice inside me that I couldn’t ignore. I knew I couldn’t choose “wrong,” but I had to choose.
There’s a phrase that people use when they want to convey that they are “all-in.” They say they are going to “burn the boats” or the “ships”. The phrase comes from a reference to the historical conquest of Spanish Conquistador Hernando Cortez. In 1519, Cortez landed in Mexico on the shores of the Yucatan, seeking to seize the many great treasures that the Aztecs were hoarding. Cortez worried that his men would get scared and retreat, and they would lose their chance at victory, so he ordered them to set their own ships on fire when they stormed the beaches to make retreat impossible. He claimed that if they were going to return home with their riches, they would do it in the ships of their enemies. They had no choice but to succeed.
So that’s what I did. I burned all the ships.
The events that followed were supernaturally ordered. First, someone anonymously donated the exact amount that I needed to finalize my commitment to the program, even though I hadn’t begun advertising my decision yet. Second, at the exact same time, I lost the subletters on my property and was unable to pay my rent. My landlord let me out of my lease early, and I started to sell off everything I had and all that was involved with my farm. With a little help from some friends from church, I was able to sell all my livestock and equipment, remove everything involved with my farm, sell my furniture and possessions, move anything extra into storage and move out in only 3 weeks. And that was over the Thanksgiving holiday! Third, I was able to find and get approved for an RV to live in until I leave. I originally looked for something used, but God directed, and it ended up being easier financially and practically to get a new one. And not just any new one, but a brand new, 32-foot, 2025 trailer that no one else in the state even owned yet, and it checked all the boxes for things I thought would make it a reasonable long-term living space! On top of that, I was able to park it on family’s property and keep my dog there. Fourth, I was forced by the company that I worked for change positions. At first, it seemed like a bad thing. I had to take a pay cut to do it, and I was leaving work that I loved for work that I hated; but God still knew best, and it ultimately lead to me being in the right place to protect someone from abuse, and to a completely new job that came with a pay raise, a better schedule, new/better responsibilities, and a promised position for when I return from my service abroad, and all only 3 minutes from my home! To truly recognize the miraculous nature of everything, you have to understand that all of these things happened in the space of about one month. Fifth… I know what you’re thinking, ‘there’s a fifth?’… through all the decisions, changes, moving pieces, and unknowns – then, and in the last 6 months – I have had perfect peace. The kind that doesn’t make any sense for me to have.
God is so good.
I have left everything I had and was doing behind, and committed to this in a way that doesn’t allow me to turn back (at least not easily). People keep asking me if I’m nervous or worried about specific things about my decision or just in general, and each time I answer honestly that, no, I’m not. I don’t feel concern or doubt in any way. There are still many things to do to prepare. I still have a significant amount of money to raise. There are many things that I don’t know and that are out of my control. But I’m not worried. I know that where I am is where God wants me to be. I trust Him, and that where His will is He makes a way. I have no clue what that way will be, but I know that it will all be accomplished in His power whether I know the plan or not, and I know He is good.
Now, it is less than 3 months until I leave on this incredible trip. I will start at the Adventures In Missions base in Georgia. From there, my team will travel to Guatemala, Albania, Greece, Turkey, Nepal, and India over the next 11 months, serving alongside full-time missionaries in the field in any and every way that you can imagine. We will travel and live out of backpacks and sometimes tents for the year, which is a big part of the preparation that is happening now. There will be many difficulties along the way, but I am truly looking forward to all of it. I believe that one of the best ways to be close to God is when you are completely dependent on Him, and I know that after all this, my life will be forever changed. I beg for you prayers and your support through keeping in touch and reading this blog, where I will regularly write updates and stories about the work I am doing. Having a strong community and support system makes all the difference when doing something difficult.
If you are interested in supporting my financially, you can donate to my mission fund, handled by Adventures In Missions, through this link: Donate. Or you can find the “Support” button at the top and bottom of the blog homepage. As I said, there is a significant number to be raised, and if you are able to give joyfully, then I will be humbled and grateful.
Adventures In Missions is a tax-exempt organization under IRS code 501(c)(3) and is a member of the ECFA. (Evangelical Council for Financial Accountability). Due to IRS and ECFA regulations governing the administration of tax-deductible donations given in support of a particular trip/program, support contributions given on behalf of an individual will be used to offset the costs of the trip/program you are involved in. All contributions are non-refundable and non-transferable regardless of the participant’s success in completing the program.
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